Oops
by flooj9235
Summary: Of all the names in the galaxy to scream out, you pick the dead Sith Lord?  Bastila lets something slip that she wasn't supposed to.  Oops. Femslash. Yuri. GL. Oneshot.


"Nnh… Aah… O-REVAN!" Bastila cried, muscles clenching as she toppled over the edge of her orgasm.

Kiera sat up and frowned down at the petite brunette before her. "What?"

Bastila froze, her blood running cold as she realized her mistake. "What?" she repeated breathlessly, hoping to sound innocent.

Kiera frowned, turning away from Bastila and hugging her knees to her chest. "Bas, I can maybe understand screaming someone else's name… Okay, no, I can't." She rested her head on her knees, sighing, her feelings obviously hurt. "But…"

Bastila sat up, still a little dizzy from her climax. She reached out a hand and rested it on Kiera's shoulder.

Kiera flinched away, raising her head and looking over at Bastila, tears in her eyes. "Just… Revan? Of all the names in the galaxy to scream out, you pick the dead Sith Lord?"

Bastila's heart ached, seeing the woman she loved in pain.

"I mean, Force, Bas… I was kind of hoping to hear you, you know, screaming _my_ name…" Kiera buried her face between her knees again, looking heartbroken.

"I did," Bastila murmured before she could stop herself.

Kiera tensed, but didn't raise her head.

Bastila felt a sudden wave of nervous nausea overcome her, fighting it back. She'd been wondering if she should go ahead and tell Kiera about her past, even though the Council had told her not to. Bastila had always been a terrible liar, and keeping such a dark secret from the woman she loved... It just didn't feel right to ruin such a perfect relationship with lies and hidden secrets.

Unfortunately, Bastila didn't have a choice anymore; she'd already started telling Kiera, and there was no going back.

"Revan didn't die, I've told you that before," Bastila said quietly, her gaze dropping to the bedcovers. "She survived the attack. I know you know I saved her, but it's what happened after that that no one knows." Bastila paused and drew a nervous breath before continuing. "Revan was my first love, and she was my first time," she added with a blush.

Kiera looked up at Bastila, her expression softening a little, a stray tear leaking down her cheek. "Oh."

"Revan's still alive," Bastila murmured. "She's just… Oh, Force, Kiera…" Bastila buried her face in her hands, hardly able to believe she was disobeying the Council so severely. She exhaled shakily, sensing that Kiera was about to interject. She peered out between her fingers and shook her head desperately. "Please don't say anything," she begged. "This is hard enough."

Kiera nodded once, her gaze resting intensely on Bastila.

"The Council… they took Revan's wounded body and they did… they did something to it. They said her mind was too damaged, and they reprogrammed her with a new identity. They molded her into a Republic soldier, and told me to watch over her to make sure that the dark side didn't overtake her again." Bastila felt almost strangely calm, and realized that the guilt she'd harbored for keeping the secret from Kiera was disappearing. "They stationed her on a ship called the _Endar Spire…_" She trailed off, looking at Kiera and waiting for the former Sith lord to make the connection.

Kiera frowned. "But it was just us and Carth that escaped, right? So, where's Revan?"

Bastila bit her lip, staring into the eyes of the first and only woman she'd ever loved. "Kiera, it's you," she whispered, hoping that the quieter she spoke, the easier it would be for Kiera to absorb the information.

Kiera became very quiet, her jaw tensing. The expression on her face changed back and forth between disbelief, confusion, and anger. "That's not true," she said finally, laughing a little. Her voice sounded hollow and full of fake confidence. "That can't be true."

Bastila could feel the pain and confusion Kiera was overwhelmed by in the Force, the emotions only magnified throught their bond. Knowing there was nothing she could do to ease the pain, Bastila wanted to cry. She reached out to wrap her arms around Kiera, startled by the violent shove she received from the other woman.

Kiera didn't apologize for the assault, a glare on her face and furious tears in her eyes. "I'm not Revan!" she hissed, starting to shake with anger.

Bastila inched away, starting to cry quietly. "Yes, you are, Kiera," she managed. "I'm sorry!"

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" Kiera yelled, climbing off the bed and pacing around the room. "Or better yet, why did you tell me? We could've just gone on with our lives and it would've been perfectly fine!"

"The Council told me not to!" Bastila explained as calmly as she could manage, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. "They swore everyone to secrecy! They told me to use your memories to try and find the Star Forge so we can get rid of Malak, but, Kiera, you have to believe-"

"You used me!" Kiera screamed, throwing her hands in the air. "Well, this is just WONDERFUL! First, my girlfriend screams out the wrong name, and then I find out I'm supposed to be some dead Sith Lord!"

"I didn't use you!" Bastila climbed off the bed and stood before Kiera, her attempted calm being replaced with defensive irritation. "I couldn't! I loved you too much!"

"And now we're speaking in the past tense," Kiera continued, her tone sarcastic and bitter. "Lovely. You know what? Forget it, Bastila. I'm done." She turned to grab her clothes, ready to leave the room.

Bastila grabbed Kiera's arm and spun the taller woman around, glaring up at her. "Stop it! Try and understand, will you? There were perfectly good reasons why the Council had to give you a fake persona! Can you imagine a Sith lord waking up in the middle of an Enclave of Jedi?"

"Then why the hell didn't you kill Revan?" Kiera yelled, yanking her arm out of Bastila's hand. "It would have made it a lot easier!"

"I didn't-the Council... Because I love you!"

"You loved Revan," Kiera spat, her eyes full of anguish. "You lied to me and made me believe you loved me, just so you could get close and use Revan's memories."

Bastila slapped Kiera across the face. "I love you! You and Revan, you're the same person. All the Council's mind wipe did was erase your memories of the dark side. You have the same sense of humor, the same inner strength, Kiera. Please, just try to understand…" She looked up into Kiera's stunned face and her bravado left her. "… I'm sorry…" Her voice came out as a broken whisper.

For a moment, it looked like Kiera was about to start crying, but then she went rigid. Without speaking a word, she dressed herself and walked out of the room.

For the next three days, Kiera avoided Bastila completely, managing to avoid most of the rest of the crew, too. She ventured out onto Korriban all by herself, refusing to let anyone accompany her.

Bastila sulked around on the _Ebon Hawk_, suffering more than she had when Revan had left for the war years before. She wondered how she'd survived before she and Kiera had gotten close, and the mere thought of Kiera nearly brought her to tears.

The rest of the crew all knew something was wrong, and they all tried to be friendly to Bastila. She appreciated the effort, but she hated their pity. Their fight was her own mistake, and Bastila knew it. If she had just obeyed the orders that the Council had given her, nothing would have gone wrong. Then she started feeling guilty, and she avoided it the only way she knew how: meditating alone in the cargo bay.

Nearly two weeks after Kiera had left to search for the Star Map, Bastila was beginning to get worried. She wanted to try and communicate with Kiera through their bond to make sure that she was all right. Unfortunately, the power of the dark side was too strong and prevented Bastila from making contact with the other woman. The knowledge that she couldn't sense anything was very unsettling, and she had half a mind to charge out onto Korriban and find Kiera herself. The risk of exposing their mission was too much, though, and she remained on the _Ebon Hawk._

Trying to distract herself from her worry about Kiera, Bastila headed to the cargo bay again, quickly dropping into a meditative trance.

She had no idea how much time had passed, but was suddenly pulled from her trance by the sound of the cargo bay door opening. Bastila opened her eyes and turned to look at the door.

Kiera stood there, looking very pale. "Bastila," she said, her voice as hollow as she looked.

Bastila wanted to get up and pull Kiera into her arms, to comfort her and tell her everything was going to be okay. She couldn't quite remember how to move, feeling like she was bolted to the floor. Something about Kiera's expression terrified her and made protectiveness flare up in the pit of Bastila's stomach.

"Bas," Kiera whimpered, tears filling her eyes. She started trembling and she clenched her fists and closed her eyes. "I-" She couldn't get any more out before a broken sob escaped her.

Bastila leapt to her feet and wrapped her arms around Kiera, cradling the older woman's head on her shoulder. "Shh," she soothed, rocking Kiera as best she could.

"I'm so sorry!" Kiera sobbed, clinging to Bastila like she might die if she let go. "I'm sorry! I didn't-I just… oh, Force, Bas…" She buried her face in the crook of Bastila's neck and cried.

Bastila held Kiera to her, crying a little bit as well. She murmured words of comfort into Kiera's ear, desperately hoping to be able to help the woman she loved. They sank to their knees, still clinging to each other needily.

Minutes later, Kiera finally calmed down enough to speak. She reluctantly pulled herself out of Bastila's arms and wiped her eyes on her sleeves. Kiera avoided Bastila's gaze, looking ashamed.

"… It was so sick out there," Kiera said after a moment. "At that damn Sith academy, they… they wanted us to compete with each other and earn 'prestige.' But the way they wanted us to do it was… horrible." Kiera's head drooped and her shoulders slumped. "I was so angry that I just… I didn't care. I killed… I killed innocent people." She cringed at the memory, wrapping her arms around herself.

Bastila remained quiet, watching Kiera struggle to tell her about all the happenings on Korriban.

"Force… Bas, I don't know if it was because of what you told me, or if it was all the dark energy in there, but I… I changed." Kiera wiped tears out of her eyes. "I started to enjoy it. The killing, the underhanded schemes, it all seemed like fun." Kiera looked like she felt sick to her stomach. "I enjoyed it, Bas! And then... then I started feeling so angry and hateful. I was so dead-set on exterminating everyone else just so I could take over the academy."

"Oh, Kiera," Bastila murmured, reaching out and resting a hand on Kiera's shoulder.

"But then, I thought about you," Kiera said softly, continuing on like Bastila hadn't spoken. "And I realized that if I went out of control and actually did take over, you'd be the only one there to come and stop me, and I might end up hurting you. I couldn't live with that," she whimpered. "I love you too much to hurt you, Bas." She looked at the brunette desperately. "And I know I've been a real bitch to you, but I was just… I didn't know how to react."

Bastila didn't move as Kiera turned to face her and crawled toward her.

Kiera took Bastila's hands in her own, holding them tightly. Her eyes were full of regret, her gaze burning into Bastila's imploringly. "I'm so, so sorry, Bas. I love you so much, and I never meant for this."

Bastila gently pulled her hands from Kiera's grip, embracing the older woman. "I love you, too," she whispered in Kiera's ear. "And don't be sorry; I'm the one who should be sorry. I should've told you earlier, and-"

Kiera cut Bastila off with a kiss, silencing the unneeded apologies.

A few tender kisses and a hug later, the two women were cuddled together against the wall.

"So," Kiera said, sounding considerably happier. "I was Revan, huh? What was I like before I fell?"

Bastila smiled fondly, nestling herself a little further into Kiera's arms. "You were very much the same. Your sense of humor and your personality in general is all exactly the same as it used to be. The only real difference is that you listen to me more now."

"Hm." Kiera was quiet for a few moments. "Was I just as drop dead sexy?"

Bastila paused, mulling it over playfully. "I don't know. There's something so enthralling about a former Sith…"

Kiera laughed, kissing Bastila again. "On a more serious note, which person am I? I mean, I've had two different lives, and you say I'm pretty much the same."

Bastila shrugged against Kiera. "It doesn't matter to me. I'm not in love with a name. I'm in love with you."

"Aww, that has to be the cheesiest thing I've ever heard you say," Kiera teased, poking Bastila's side.

Bastila yelped and scrambled out of Kiera's arms, leaping to her feet and glaring down at Kiera playfully.

"Mmm," Kiera murmured as she climbed to her feet, stepping toward Bastila. "Your scowl is so sexy." She licked her lips subconsciously, a smile stretching across her face a moment later. "I have the perfect idea," she added, tracing Bastila's jaw with her fingers, causing the brunette's breathing to hitch. "Let's you and I go to bed-" she waggled her eyebrows for good measure, "-and see what name you scream out this time." A smirk stretched across her face as an eager look appeared on Bastila's face. "Whatever you moan, that's my name."

Bastila managed a grin. "Even if it's 'ohh, Vandar!'?"

Kiera made a face. "Seriously?"

Bastila laughed, spanking Kiera and shooting her a look. "Come to bed and find out," she purred, dashing out of the cargo bay with a giggle as Kiera raced after her.


End file.
